Are you spending your days absolutely exhausted? In a 24/7/365 world, this is no surprise. There are a number of obvious contributors to why we are all so tired but one of the big ones has nothing to do with sleep. It has to do with the number of decisions we make each day.

35,000.

Yes, that’s right. Researchers estimate that adults make an average of 35,000 decisions every day. From the moment you ponder whether or not to lie in bed for another few minutes, the decision making begins. Glass of water first of feed the cat? What will I wear? Would this look better with different earrings? The lane next to me seems to be moving faster, should I change? Where should I park? How many emails should I read before I get a morning coffee? What will I have for lunch? Should I do this task now or later? Even micro decisions can be exhausting where there are enough of them.

The mental load of making this many decisions is bad enough but if you lack confidence in your decision making ability or are paralysed with overwhelm at the mere thought of choosing whether to have chicken or fish for dinner, you are not alone.

When we are overwhelmed we lose our confidence. Low confidence in decision making can lead to poor decisions which can lead to poor outcomes which leads to less confidence in decision making which can lead to poorer outcomes… you get the picture. It can be a downwards spiral.

Decision making is a fascinating topic and Confidence Advantage will be writing many more posts on it in the future, but here is a quick framework for when you a faced with a decision that is more complex than whether you want oat or almond milk in your latte.

  • What are the details of the decision that you’re making?
  • What are the constraints? Are they real or artificial?
  • What does a good outcome look like?

Every decision has variables that influence how the decision will be made in that moment. Fatigue, hunger, mood will all impact the decisions that you make. So will certain nuances of the situation. Deciding whether to order the spaghetti marinara or the crab cake may be influenced by the colour of the shirt you’re wearing, even if you really want the spaghetti.

How many people got excited about getting a new pet during COVID and then when they returned to work in the office they realised they hadn’t actually thought the decision through and the whole reason that they’d never gotten a dog before is because they weren’t home enough to look after it? These are the sorts of decisions that can really dent our confidence because we feel terribly guilty for not being able to look after our pet properly, we feel stupid for not realising the longer term outcome, and then we become anxious the next time we’re faced with a big decision because we ballsed up the last one.

When you write down all the things that you need to consider when making a decision you are less likely to completely overlook them in the excitement of the moment. It’s a type of sense checker. Sure, sometimes the list will kill the dream and snap us back to reality quick smart, but that’s the point. We are much better off making decisions that serve us over the long and short term. Clarifying what we need and putting it down on paper helps us with that.

Once you are clear on the details of the decision, the next step is to consider the constraints. Let’s use the example of deciding to look for a new job. The decision details are that you are not happy in your current role, there are no growth opportunities on the horizon and you have a new boss and the two of you don’t get along.

What might the constraints of finding a new job be?

  • It’s a really soft job market right now so I’m better off staying where I am. This is potentially a real constraint, especially if you can’t afford to be without a salary for any period of time. Job markets can change quickly and if there is a downturn in the market for your particular industry then it is very possible that finding a new job may be hard. This isn’t a constraint that prevents you from looking, however. It just means that you don’t throw your toys out of the pram and quit before you’ve found another job to go to.
  • I’ve been in my current role for too long. I wouldn’t be able to cut it at another company. This is an artificial constraint. Artificial means that you created the constraint in your head. Sure, moving out of your comfort zone to a new job isn’t always fun in the beginning, but working at one place for a long period of time has nothing to do with your ability to work somewhere else. If this is on your list of constraints then cross it off!
  • There are no good jobs out there. This is likely to be an artificial constraint masquerading as a real constraint. If you are currently employed, you have the luxury of time to wait for the right opportunity.
  • I have personal commitments (e.g. morning and afternoon school run) and this means I can’t get the job that I want. In this post-COVID world, this is definitely an artificial complaint if you are a desk-based worker. The world has rapidly become much more accommodating of flexible working arrangements and if your work is computer based, you can generally do it from anywhere. If this is on your constraints list ask yourself if the true problem is that you’re too scared to ask for a flexible work arrangement.
  • I don’t have the appropriate experience for the job I want. This can be both a real and artificial constraint. Plenty of people (particularly women) overestimate the experience they need and underestimate the value they bring to a role. If you have your eyes set on being a chief financial officer (CFO) and you are only a junior finance officer, then yes, you have some gaps to fill in your experience if you are ever going to make it to CFO. However, if you’re already a senior finance manager then not having had previous CFO experience doesn’t mean that you’re not up to the task. You’re just talking yourself out of the job before you’ve even applied which makes this an artificial constraint.

Finally, before you make any decision you need to be clear on what you consider to be a good outcome, otherwise you are going to find yourself settling for a crappy outcome which you will quickly come to regret and resent.

Using the example of finding a new job, what does good look like to you? Do you want a bigger challenge, more professional growth, more money, a different workplace culture, something that is within 15 minutes of home, flexible working hours? Are there specific tasks and responsibilities that you are after? What does your perfect job look like? What variables are more important than others?

Our minds are amazing but a funny thing happens when emotion starts to take over: we forget about the facts. That’s why it’s important to get out your pen and paper and write down the details of the problem. You can type this into your phone if you want to, but you will find that you are more effective at thinking through the problem if you ditch the digital and go old school analogue. A pen and paper are a decision maker’s best friend.

For the most part, decision making outcome is a direct result of the decision making process. There is no dark art to making good decisions. It just comes down to being methodical and thinking it through. Big decisions are always going to be big decisions but if you follow this three step framework it will make big decisions much less daunting.

Finally, you are capable of making great decisions. Don’t rush it and back yourself!