Do you watch other people and think they don’t have a care in the world? Do you think you’re the only person who struggles with confidence? Well, I’ve got a secret for you. You’re not alone – everyone struggles with confidence.
Confidence is big part of being able to live the life we’ve always wanted. It empowers us to speak up for ourselves. It stops us from settling for second best. Being confident is such an important life skill but it isn’t taught in school. Most of us aren’t taught confidence at home either. Any confidence we do have is often what we’ve picked up along the way.
When we lack confidence we make poor decisions. We find ourselves in crappy jobs and crappy relationships and then we don’t have the confidence to leave. We don’t take risks because we can’t stand the idea of failure. Fear of failure can lead us to self-sabotage which then dents our confidence further and starts a spiral that can be very difficult to pull ourselves out of.
So many people make the mistake of thinking that confidence is just something that you’re born with. That you have to be smart or beautiful or successful to be confident. Some people think that because they’re not confident now they never will be. They resign themselves to a life of misery because they think they’ll never be confident enough to get what they want. They think that they don’t deserve what they want because they’re not confident. So starts a vicious circle.
Here’s the good news: confidence is available to everyone. Yes, everyone.
No-one is born 100% confident. No-one is confident all of the time. Anyone who claims they are is either lying or delusional. Everyone has insecurities. No matter how self-assured someone appears from the outside, there are things that make them quake in their boots.
There is no doubt that some people are just inherently more confident than others. This is no different to some people being naturally good at sport or music or maths. But there are plenty of people who are good at sport or music or maths because they worked hard at it, not because they were born that way. Confidence is the same: it is a skill that can be developed by anyone.
Being confident doesn’t mean that you will never be afraid or intimidated. It doesn’t mean a life without fear. Being confident doesn’t mean that you are going to get everything that you want. People are people and we are always going to make mistakes or get things wrong. There are times where we all crash and burn, sometimes very publicly. Confidence is the willingness to take the risk because you’ll know that if it doesn’t work out you’ll still be okay. Confidence is facing the fear and doing it anyway.
We are all at different points in our confidence journey and there is no defined finish line. Confidence looks different to everyone. Some people think confidence is being able to speak in public where others may think it’s being able to ask for a pay rise. What does confidence look like for you?
There is no silver bullet for increasing your confidence, no magic potion that will change your life. Growing your confidence is hard work and requires you to challenge yourself and take risks. No-one can do this for you. Our power to be confident comes from within us, not from other people. Sure, we all like to receive compliments from others but we need to be okay when those compliments are not forthcoming. Confidence must come from inside of you.
There are so many tools, exercises and insights available. Confidence Advantage is here to help you on your journey to living a life you always dreamed of but never believed possible.
